Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Randomize
