This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
