You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize