I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
