you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
