when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
