How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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