If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
