This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
