3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
