no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I am naked and annoyed.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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