I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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