you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
