You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
