So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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