Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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