No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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