Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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