a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
