dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
