Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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