took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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