There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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