drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
