So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
