Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
