remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
