Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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