I didn't shave. On purpose
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
