Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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