piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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