Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize