hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
