Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
