ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
