I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
