whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
