this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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