1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
