How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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