don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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