laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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