talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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