Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
