Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
