I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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