weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
