i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Randomize
