i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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