question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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