I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
