Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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