Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
