I think my fart just growled at me.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
