I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
