Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
