Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
