Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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