Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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