its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
