Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
