Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
My life is pants optional.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
