Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
You need Xanax blowdarts
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
