trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
