My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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