i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
