You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
