I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize