She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
