You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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