your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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