Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
