I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize